I was dreading reporting this one because I hate to disappoint but it appears that my dream job wasn’t quite as real as it was made to seem. It turns out that the man that was offering it didn’t actually have the money to fund the company, he was merely optimistic that he would have it. Big difference.
Now some people would call him a charlatan, a scheister, or a con artist and get really down or angry about this recent turn of events, especially since he took up quite a bit of my time when I really needed to be earning money, but I don’t have the time for all of that because I’ve got a dream to keep pursuing and I’ve got to keep my eye on the prize.
It’s not to say I’m not human. I am! And yes, this was a difficult pill for me to swallow but in my business there are so many charlatans out there. My guess is that for every success story in Hollywood, there is a long list of difficult pills that had to be swallowed, the difference being, for those that made it, is that they were able to let the pill pass through without allowing it to stop them or make them sick and that is exactly what I am going to do too. I am stronger than these circumstances.
In fact, I am happy to report that I was able to spot the gift in all of this. It seems that the very act of someone taking me seriously (whether real or not) had the impact of having me take myself much more seriously and over the last month I really got a chance to see myself and my projects in a whole new light.
I went from shy little “hi, I’m Holly and I have some pretty good projects, if you have some time to listen or if you don’t that’s okay too, I know you’re busy, sorry to bother you” to “I have some great projects and you are going to want to hear about them so stop what you’re doing and pay attention to me!!!” and that change alone has yielded some amazing results.
For the first time ever I pitched one of my projects to a real Hollywood Insider, someone in the game right now, someone with the power to open the right doors for me if he so chooses and he actually listened. He didn’t want to, he was busy and didn’t need to, but the new me wasn’t letting him off the phone so easy. I was determined to have some kind of breakthrough, so in the middle of the conversation I switched gears, mustered up the courage, and I pitched him one of my shows and to my delight he said the 5 magic words I have been waiting to hear my whole writer’s life “you got me. I’m interested.”
This is big for me. HUGE!! Not because I am expecting that this new guy is going to magically make my all my dreams come true, but because I finally believe that I can trust me to do what it takes so that I can make my dreams come true. I really have been been gifted with lots of amazing projects but my selling of that fact has always been at best, pathetic, and therefore my results have been, more than pathetic. But something in me has changed. I have turned a corner. I am no longer afraid to badger people until they listen, so look out Hollywood. Here I come. It’s time to put the Holly back in Hollywood. hahaha!!
And if it’s the Charlatan that brought me to this place where I can finally succeed, then I guess I should give him a big ole hug. Thanks Charlatan!
I think Alanis Morrissette’s song “You Learn” is the appropriate song for the day. Enjoy! I’m off to badger more people. 🙂