Photography by Diego Torroija

The man who took that picture to the left is one seriously talented artist and I have decided its time for him to have the time and space to explore how far he can go with his art, to really just dive into it and see where it can take him, in the same way that he has already done for me.

For the last 3 years, he has given me the greatest gift anyone can ever give an artist and that is thousands of days in a row where I didnt have to produce anything for anyone other than our little family. I did produce stuff of course, but I didnt have to. It does make a difference.

And now I want to give that same gift back to him…. I can only imagine what that crazy talented man will do with the freedom to say yes to only what he wants to say yes to and nothing but time to do whatever he wants to do all day long for noone but himself. (Those of you who know him best are giggling at the mere thought of it. Oh Lawd 🙂 ) But it needs to be done. It’s time. He’s gonna do great things with his free time, if I can succeed in giving it to him, I am sure.

So now I am looking for a job. A very high paying job. One that pays way more than any job I’ve ever had before, in fact, probably one that pays more than all the jobs I’ve ever had before combined, because under my new plan I’ll have a really expensive big kid to feed with a nasty equipment habit (and a little one that is pretty expensive too – she’s quite the diva).

How the hell am I going to do that? I have no idea. Is it even possible? It’s gonna have to be because it’s time.

The good news is I’ve got some pretty good skills to make up for my weighty salary requirements and if fate will have it and this ends up reaching the eyeballs of someone who can actually use my kind of skills and can pay me properly for them, then I will say to that person right here and now, hello you, my future partner/employer/investor/benefactor type person….here is what I am good at and what I would love to provide for you:

1) I can help you make your movie, tv show, commercial, blog or Facebook page and have it be something worth watching. I’m not that good with the details or the budget, so dont give those jobs to me, but I am most excellent at working with artists of all types, top to bottom, and making said artists into a happy team (which is not easy by the way, its somewhat of a magic act), and since, in my opinion, happy artist teams make great movies, tv shows, commercials, blogs and Facebook pages, the money you will pay me is money worth spending, it really is. I can prove it.

2) Also and more preferably I can help you make my movies, tv shows, commercials, blogs and Facebook pages. Nothing would make me happier. And mine are pretty darn good if I do say so myself, and there’s a lot of them so they could keep alot of us going for a very long time. A verrrryyy, verrryyy long time. If I was a betting person I’d plunk my money into this investment. Unfortunately I have no money of my own to plunk into this investment at this particular time, which of course is why I have this personal jobs posting ad up on my very own blog.

3) I can also physically be in any of your movies, tv shows, commercials, blogs and Facebook pages. I am smiley and cute and my favorite thing to do is comedy in all its forms (writing, Improv, acting, dancing, singing, or a combination of all of those happening at the very same time which would just make my head explode with giddiness), so if you want to pay me for any or all of those things that would be pretty kick ass too. Actually that’s better than kickass. Maybe skip all the other jobs I mentioned and go straight for this one. (Although Adam Carolla says that women are really not all that funny so maybe you should skip that one. You might not get your money’s worth there. Yeah, you should listen to Adam. He’s the expert on what’s funny.)

So that’s really it. That’s what I’ve got. If any of that works for any of you that would be great because not only would it be a blast for me to finally put my skills to the test and see what it feels like to actually support my family with my art, it would also give me the opportunity to say to that brilliant artist that I mentioned earlier, I could say “Boo, why don’t you take a couple years to relax. I got this. Now go on ahead and pittle around with all your equipment and inventions for as long as you want. I can’t wait to see what you create. Oh and quit stalking me with the camera. I mean it. I will put you back to work if you keep stalking me with that thing,” and I would really love to say every bit of that. 🙂

Okay so was that my blog for the week or a job posting? I think it was both. I’m secretly hoping that you will all read this and pass it on, because if everyone passes it on, then it might just freakishly pop into the inbox of that fateful person who has money they want to give me so I can get on with this dream. I know I’m being silly but I am also completely serious at the same time. I need a J-O-B-A-S-A-P.


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